Absent Minded Altar Boy

Renfrew was the most absentminded altar boy Father O'Malley had ever seen. But Renfrew meant well, and the clergymen decided to give him one more chance to prove himself. "At mass tomorrow, I will come to a point where you'll hear me sing, "And God's angels lit the candles." When I say that, you're to light the candles in the back of the church. Is that understood?" Renfrew said it was, and that night both the priest and Renfrew prayed for his success.

The next day Father O'Malley conducted mass in front of a full congregation. At last his rich baritone sang out, "And God's angels lit the candles!" Nothing happened and he said again, "And God's angels lit the candles!" Still the candles remained unlit, and once more he boomed, "And God's angels lit the candles!" From behind the last pew Renfrew's small voice carried across the room. "And your dog pee'd on the matches!"