Pastor: Good News and Bad News For Him Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river. Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card. Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote
it. Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly
the same way you do. Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game. Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking. Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks. Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land. Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church. Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee
to find somebody capable of filling the position.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.
Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead"
and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.
Bad News: You were on vacation.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper
and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.